Saturday, April 21, 2018

Saturday early morning, April 21st 04:03 am

I woke up, and feeling angry. Feeling humiliated, feeling abused. Devastated, disappointed. But mostly, frightened.

I keep blaming myself for always making wrong decision about everything. I wish I could turn back time and change what was started to have a better presence than now.

I went to the bathroom. Drowning my head. Thinking of holding a breath til my last or juzt breath with the water inside my lungs? I screamed in the water so nobody would hear my pain. Wish could have a b3tter ending but once more, crumbled. For a moment I push myself to one way. Suicide.

I’m exhausted.


  1. I'm about too careless, not good in patienceness.
    Yes, i ask you to block me before.
    But please stop my regret, maybe it come till the rest of my life.
    I know i did unforgivable mistake.
    If what you're write about are realy come in your mind.
    It also mean to kill my self, cause i'm really the one who want let you wreak your anger to me. I'm watching you every time. Yes you're blocking me again. But it will not stop me. Till you have real man who can keep protect you from everyone, everything and every time.

    1. I don't know who you are, but thanks, I'm fine. I think I can survive for another year.

    2. I just remembered that, one years ago you're the first person said happy new years. it's one years since I learn about you, I still watching you even you block me again and again then you made your twit private, but I still able to read btw. I glad see you've unprivate it.


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