Saturday early morning, April 21st 04:03 am
I woke up, and feeling angry. Feeling humiliated, feeling abused. Devastated, disappointed. But mostly, frightened.
I keep blaming myself for always making wrong decision about everything. I wish I could turn back time and change what was started to have a better presence than now.
I went to the bathroom. Drowning my head. Thinking of holding a breath til my last or juzt breath with the water inside my lungs? I screamed in the water so nobody would hear my pain. Wish could have a b3tter ending but once more, crumbled. For a moment I push myself to one way. Suicide.